10 Things You Should Know About Introverts


A few months ago I stumbled upon a facebook page called Introvert Dear, where they share various articles and writings about Introverts, Highly Sensitive People, and all of us quiet types:) I seriously can't get enough of their articles every time I run across one, and I have honestly learned so much more about my personality (they totally get me)! In the past I have been very vocal on the blog about my personality, and like I have shared before, I am an INFJ which makes up only 1% of the population, and while my introverted personality differs from other Introverts, there are a host of similarities in our lives that we share and that bind us together. 

I think sharing about who we are, opening up, and being vulnerable (for me that's in writing) allows us to show a different side of us to people. I know a number of bloggers who have shared about their struggle with depression, eating disorders, etc. and I always love and admire that they are so honest about who they are. Therefore, being vocal about my personality is something I am passionate about and I will never get tired of sharing that side of me on the blog. 

With that being said, reading articles and reflecting back on life and relationships, I have come to realize how misunderstood we as Introverts truly are. I have had people say that they didn't like me at first, ask if I am always this serious, mention that I am a very quiet person, or jokingly ask if I ever have fun. It is with that realization that I have decided to write up a list of 10 things you should know about introverts if you are friends with one, are an extrovert, or totally don't know anything about this personality. However, let me be clear to reassure you that I am not writing this post from a negative mindset or to point fingers at anyone (friend or family) but simply to shine a light on the complicated inner workings of an introverts brain:) I hope that by reading this you will learn a bit more about the Introverts among you! 

  1. NEVER assume that we don't like you or that we "hate" you (true words from past experience)! Okay....so we might be super serious when we first meet you (or even if we have known each other for years), awkward, and not say much, but give us time and make an effort to talk and start up a conversation or keep it going....please don't put everything on our shoulders. If you make an effort you will find that first impressions of Introverts are wrong 99% of the time! We really don't hate people....contrary to popular belief.....so give us a chance (or a second chance).
  2. You might make social interaction and outside get togethers a high priority, but we as introverts prefer to spend time alone, get chores or homework done, or finish a project we have been working on. This happens because we tend to see life very logically and often assess everything that needs to get done in our life (tackle that to do list), so most often we choose school or work over social settings because those are important to us, and when we don't have school or work to do we might just need time to recharge. 
  3. Don't let our sometimes "hermit" like nature fool you, we really do want to get together with you or get to know new people but we don't want to bother you by making the first move, sending the first text, or sometimes starting the conversation. We often feel like we are bothering people by texting first and we hate to be a nuisance, so when you get the chance reach out, because chances are we were actually thinking about you! 
  4. With that being said, if we say NO when you ask us to do something it doesn't mean you should stop inviting us. Keep reaching out and offering the invitation and one day we will probably come. However, don't be forceful or pressure us in your invitation, be understanding about our personality, and maybe even ask us "what would you be up to doing?"
  5. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give us at least 24 hours notice about things! If you want to go do something don't text us an hour before that outing and expect us to excitedly say yes. Sure, we might say yes, but in these cases that's rare because we don't have adequate time to prepare or even get ready and we really won't be in the best frame of mind. So the next time you want to go out to eat, see a movie, visit a friend, or get together to watch a movie text us the day before....or better yet let's set up a plan 3 days before:)
  6. We like being around groups of people sometimes (our hidden talent is people watching), but if we are still getting to know each other let's grab coffee together instead of going to a party or hanging out with a large group of people! WE prefer to get to know people and open up more in one on one situations, over group settings. Same goes for if we are catching up with old friends after a few years. 
  7. In regards to group settings, don't expect us to act like everyone else and freely mingle....in fact, if you tell us to go mingle at an event we will want to crawl under a rock. We will probably just end up standing near a table by ourselves, drinking 4 glasses of water just so we have something to do, smile at everyone who passes by, but never work up the courage to initiate conversation. So if you see us standing there looking uncomfortable because of all the people (or because we just drank 4 glasses of water) just say hello!
  8. Plain and simple we aren't known to have a lot of friends, but I'm not saying that in a negative or depressing way. We prefer to have a handful of close friends over a slew of acquaintances. We function this way because it allows us to cultivate true authentic friendships over surface level friends......honestly we really do dislike fake people so if you "pretend" to be our friend we are going to see right through the mask and the two of us will never be close. 
  9. We will probably think differently than you 100% of the time! We like details and all the information up front so that we can meticulously think through every scenario and option determining what is best before we commit to something. When we go into something blindly we are going to get stressed out, so we are the students who send our teachers (or professors) emails like 3 times before the first day of class and then send them multiple texts or emails throughout the semester...LOL! 
  10. Most people's saying might be to "let loose and live a little," but for us that just causes undue stress. So when it comes time to being spontaneous, we really do hate it most of the time! Stretching beyond our comfort zones or control is not something we like to do, and again we are going to think through all the details and if it doesn't seem logical we won't want to go along with it. 
Do you fall into the Introvert category?
How do these 10 things align with your personality?
Do you have a friend who is an Introvert?

-Madison 

25 comments

  1. Hi Madison!
    I am an INFJ, too! I totally related to everything that you wrote. I should share this post with my extroverted friends :)

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  2. Ahhh! Love meeting fellow INFJ's :) So glad you enjoyed this post and relate to what I wrote! You should definitely share it with your friends.
    -Madison

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  3. Oh wow....I really enjoyed this article....totally relatable...I am an introvert too. I find that I need time to recharge....when I am surrounded by people or spend a day in town or with friends I need time by myself when I come home to think.... even if it is just 10mins ��

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  4. I'm not an INFJ, yet this article totally resonated with me! I honestly don't understand my personality type, because some people say I'm extroverted, but I see my self as an introvert more than anything lol I took a personality test and it said I was ISFJ, I believe. And it made a lot of sense! I guess I don't want to be considered an introvert because I know a lot of introverts who I CAN'T get them to have a conversation, so I guess it has a negative connotation for me? I'm sure this article will be helpful for a lot of people!

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    1. I totally understand you! Ever introvert is different, and some really can be extroverted, but still be quiet (that's me sometimes). I totally get you not wanting to be labeled as an introvert because of the views we have of them of "not talking" but I think that's where we have to educate people and show them there are so many different sides of us:)
      -M

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    2. Hi Elizabeth,

      My name is Elizabeth too, and I am an ISFJ also. I have had a few people tell me that I am outgoing, but that is probably just because I am not as introverted as them. ;)

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  5. Let's see #3, #5, #9, #10, really hit home with me. :) Oh, and yeah, I have a group of friends, but I can tell who is close to me, and I prefer those close friendships.

    Sarah

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    1. So glad you could relate to those:)
      -M

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  6. As an ENFP, this was so helpful in understanding my INFJ friends (and my introverted friends in general), who so often remain enigmatic to me. Many of the characteristics you mentioned I have noticed in many of my friends, and now I can finally see at least a little of the thinking behind them. Thank you for helping me understand you beautiful INFJ's a little bit more! ❤️

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    1. Your comment made me so happy Hannah! You are right though about us being "enigmatic" because that's a perfect way to describe us! Glad I could give you some refference to understand your dear friends:)
      -M

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  7. I am an INFJ too and I can relate to everything you wrote! I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I'm too quiet.

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  8. As an introvert myself, (I'm either an INFJ or INFP), I could totally relate to almost everything on this list! Especially the part about drinking four glasses of water at a social gathering just to have something to do; I have definitely done that before! ;)

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    1. Okay, I'm so glad someone else understands the water part...LOL:)
      -M

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  9. I got here from Ruffles and Grace and just had to say: This post. It understands me. *nods* I'm INFJ as well.

    Thanks for sharing! :)

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    1. Oh my gosh, so glad you found my corner of the world! Also, so glad to hear that you enjoyed what I wrote and can relate :)
      -M

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  10. Hello Madison,

    I completely relate to everything you said. Except that I have forced myself to talk to people, so I actually have a lot of friends now.
    I am really good at people watching. LOL It actually scares some people that I do that.
    I am an ISFJ.

    Elizabeth from Michigan

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  11. I am a total introvert, I need to take the test to find out what letters I am
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  12. I am an introvert. Thanks for this post.
    Marilyn

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  13. Hello fellow introvert. I am an INFP. We're the dreamers and hopeless romantics of the world. The creative types that have world in our heads. We're the types with big imaginations and fanastical lives we keep all to ourselves and choose to share with a few people.

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  14. As an ISFJ, I related to many of these things, and am also someone who is vulnerable in writing rather than speaking. Though I'm definitely a people-oriented introvert, just today I was being silent in a group setting, per usual! ;)

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  15. It's funny, when you're on the internet it seems like there are INFJ's everywhere but I guess that's why we're on the internet, huh?? I'm also an INFJ so this post resonated with me a lot.

    Lee - leethrifts.com

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